Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010)

dir Thor Freudenthal

Person revisiting a piece of media from their youth: this is a modern classic!

No but I really don’t know what possessed me to watch this movie on a random afternoon. I guess it has been coming up a lot in conversation. The other week someone told me that she almost got a tattoo of stick figure Greg Heffley on her arm. Girl…I want to cry.

Greg is such a monster. I remember reading the books as a kid and Greg’s whole Larry David persona went right over my head. It wasn’t until I was a junior in high school and tutoring elementary school kids who were obsessed with the Wimpy Kid series that I realized how awful this chump was. Maybe young kids aren’t the best equipped to process satire. Or maybe it’s just me.

Thankfully the film makes it so damn obvious that you absolutely can’t miss how shitty Greg is. Something I really like is that not only do they portray him as nasty-spirited, but also a big loser. It’s a good scared straight tactic for self conscious youngsters who are quick to throw others under the bus. Like c’mon, Rowley was dorky but innocent. Rodrick’s crimes were simply age appropriate: pranking his siblings and hiding nudie mags (“I’m sorry, women”). Greg? Greg was a menace! He broke his best friend’s arm on purpose, threw a bunch of children into a ditch, lied his way through ever social interaction, and cared more about popularity than any human being within a 5 mile radius.

This is not a safe space for Greg Heffley…

On that note, let’s end with some words from the viewers at home:

HATE MAIL FOR GREG HEFFLEY

And now a palate cleanser:

FAN MAIL FOR RODRICK HEFFLEY