The Linguini Incident (Director's Cut) (1991)

dir Richard Shepard

When the top two names billed are Rosanna Arquette and David Bowie…you watch the movie. Oh my god, a little bit of Marlee Matlin, too. We’re lucky. For as horse shit as the world is, the one thing we have is the movies.

I can’t believe I haven’t seen this before! This stinks of something I would’ve watched with my friends back in 2015-16. It seems the theme as of late is FILMS THAT WOULD’VE CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF MY LIFE IF I SAW IT BEFORE I TURNED 21.

Can I tell you a secret? I’ve always thought about being a waitress in fine dining. It’s very much outside my wheelhouse… I’m clumsy, both brash and sheepish, and have zero experience. I know it’s hard work. But why does it always appear so glamorous? I adore Rosanna’s character laughing into the mirror before her shift, repeating “the shrimp is fit for a king” while applying her lipstick.

It’s such a shame that David Bowie is at his least attractive in normal-guy-drag. If you let him pick out an outfit without at least two interesting colors/patterns/textures, you can really see his Britishness. Hm.

Back to Rosanna.

The way Rosanna Arquette sobs…. What makes it so fabulous? I’m obsessed with her, especially in all these flapper outfits. Sorry for being sadistic, but I’m glad they write in so much of her shrieking.

I think the key to The Linguini Incident’s greatness is just how much is happening. The dialogue is snappy and hilarious and real, never rubbery. The Linguini Incident is the opposite of a story about nothing. It’s a Rube Goldberg with every piece moving just so to support the movement of another. Nothing is independent, everything is interlaced, overlapped, and, interwoven. Lucy’s juggling work, her audition, her fight with Viv over Monty, Monty himself. Viv’s juggling her fight with Lucy for Monty and her break into the fashion world. Monty’s kinda doing whatever, but it works. Things lead up to the robbery just perfectly. I love this film! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Richard Shepard!